teaching consent activities

video was created for tweens and teens ages 11-16 to show concrete examples of: what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and; You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. Consent just means that you and your partner are old enough and have the capacity and free will to agree to engage in sexual activities together. Usually they say that they really felt a connection this time. High school. This involves the belief that failure to do something would result in serious harm against someone, either self or someone else. Naomi nods her head and is led upstairs by Jackson. A shoulder bump? So. Consent needs to be understood as more than just a concept in dating and sex. This involves asking everyone to shake hands and there will a total of three rounds of handshakes! Sex without consent is rape or sexual assault. How might how we feel about ourselves affect how much we feel we can have the sex (or handshakes) that we actually want to have? The Oregon Department of Education outlines what to teach: defining consent, describing how relationship power imbalances could impact personal boundaries, and being able to say—and respect hearing—no. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … The guidance on consent education looks different from state to state. Yes please! Teaching kids about the skills of consent can help reduce sexual coercion, harassment, and even assault. It’s a global concept, with applications in every facet of life. Then ask the following questions …, “how was that?” (answers here may a bit longer than the first time round, generally speaking lots of people prefer it), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 6 and 9), “how did it compare to the first handshake?” (people often say “it was more mutual,” “we knew what was going to happen,” “it was more fun” “there was more eye contact”), “did anyone prefer the first handshake?” (try to convince people that this isn’t a trick question – it’s important that people feel they can say they did. Are there times when it’s better to talk more than others? For teens and young adults, the focus should be more on sex, self-esteem, and setting healthy boundaries. Did that happen in this lesson? Like math or science, developmentally appropriate consent education should be included at each stage of K-12. What happened?”. This is where teaching kids to ask for consent first is important. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey Report¹: • 1 in 5 females and 1 in 7 males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of intimate partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age. If you direct the discussion quite firmly you can do this in 30 minutes. The ASK. Teach verbal and nonverbal communication. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o LISTEN. • More than half of all rapes of females occur before age 18; 22% occur before the age of 12. • Adolescent girls who experience dating violence are more likely to exhibit other serious behaviors such as substance abuse, increased suicide attempts, unhealthy weight control, and risky sexual behavior. Taken from my new Consent Teaching Pack. If you would like me to come to your school or college or youth club to teach this you can book me here. And evidence suggests that what we are doing doesn’t give students the skills they need to … Consent must be given for every sexual activity, every time. Consent is the foundation of a sexual relationship. Then explain …, “However if people were more ‘second handshake’ about sex then it would be really difficult to have sex because everything would have to be negotiated. Communication is vital to teaching consent. However a lot of people find this really difficult.”, “So, the key is to be more ‘third handshake.’ This means really paying attention to what each other wants and trying to make it mutually pleasurable. This is my fifth semester as a SHAPE facilitator, and I am still trying to figure out how to teach about consent. By Monica Rivera. This means that if someone is drunk or nearly unconscious or felt they weren’t able to say ‘no’ then it’s not consensual. Three Handshakes – An activity for learning how consent feels. 6 Consent = is giving permission, saying yes or agreeing to do something. A kiss on the cheek (no tongues)?”, Then allow everyone who wants to to shake hands again, notice what happens in the room (there’s often more laughter and smiling, it also takes longer). Negotiate this on a scale of 1 to 10”, “How long would you like it to go on for, or how many shakes would you like?”, “Do you want to dry your hands first?”, “Do you want to do something else altogether? Although people may feel like they should take part in the handshakes (which might be one of the learning points of the activity) please don’t explicitly force people to do so. Teaching teens about consent isn't an option in today's world. A Practical Framework for Teaching Consent. Ask the group to think of why this is. Please leave a review if you found any of this lesson helpful! The first lesson focuses on changing holds or positions. It’s never too early to teach children about consent and boundaries on The Washington Post The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 on The Good Men Project If you like using these cards to get the conversations going with your kids, you may also like to download my empathy game to talk about respecting each other’s feelings even more. For full instructions on how to use this activity, as well as a comprehensive slideshow to help you to deliver it, you should check out my new Consent Teaching Pack, which contains several other interactive and in-depth activities about consent, negotiation and power. A hug? Try to keep it fun and spontaneous but also try to find ways of communicating with the other person to make sure that you and they are both into it (and can stop if you want). This lesson was planned for a PSHE curriculum and is a lesson about consent. At this point the participants will still be a bit wary of what’s going on, so you might want to keep this part of the discussion a bit shorter. The ASK. But when it comes to teaching kids about consent, we do way too little, way too late. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … Not all 11-16 year olds are dating, but most have probably thought about what it means to be in a dating relationship. California provides sample activities on how to teach consent. As they’ve already learned about reading non-verbal messages, you can already go beyond ‘no means no’, to teach about enthusiastic consent. Instead we could try being more ‘third handshake.’, To explore how people can incorporate the best of both handshakes and to think of how they do this. You might also be interested in my new training course about it here. I sometimes then ask people to do another ‘third handshake’ but this time with someone they haven’t shook hands with yet. Posted on March 25, 2015. They often don’t (or can’t) negotiate or say what they want but rely on the script for what counts as sex. I’ve used it in sex education with young people and adults, Meg-John has used it in training courses with therapists and we’ve both used it at seminars. “So this is all about consent. I’m going to take you through two lesson plans that can work for anyone from beginners on up to experienced dancers that want to practice breaking some of these old patterns. We’ve also massively improved our greetings whenever we meet up (a good firm hug, lasting for about 2 seconds). This Is How You Teach Kids About Consent We hope parents and educators find this list of action items and teaching tools helpful, and that together we can help create a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. Experience and practice negotiation and agreement, Develop communication skills around boundaries, wants and needs, Understand how competing narratives around sex (and handshakes) can make consent harder to experience. Also someone has to be able to give their capacity to consent. If you allow the discussion to roam a little it can take longer (which might be good to do in a training course). (Consent, Sexual Assault, Date Rape and Sexual Grooming. It can open up a lot of discussion so it may need a bit of guidance to take it to where you need it to go. ... NSPCC Share Aware Teaching Resources. ACTIVITY: QUESTIONNAIRE (10 mins) (optional) • This activity can also be conducted as verbal class activity using the power point images. Many children will hug any adult who is willing to reciprocate the cuddle. You might know that consent means agreeing to do something. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. When you encourage sharing and turn-taking, you are teaching consent. 804.377.0335. info@vsdvalliance.org. Explain to the group “This is a lesson about consent and what that means. Sexual Consent. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! Give each group a printed questionnaire (included in the pack). Teaching young people to acknowledge and respect other people’s personal boundaries can help create a society where no one feels ashamed to willingly engage in, or to reject, sexual activity. How Can We Teach Consent? Communication about giving or denying permission includes the words we say, such as “Yes” or “No.” However, nonverbal communication, such as gestures, facial expressions, and body movements, are even more communicative. 30/60 minutes – over 14 possibly works better for an older group or a group who are more likely to be sexually active (or considering being sexually active). After completing this educational activity in Informed Consent and Confidentiality, you should be able to: video was created to promote healthy relationships among tweens and teens by providing concrete examples of how to ask for consent, what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and how to accept “no” as normal boundary-setting in relationships. “how was that?” (answers here may be quite short “ok” “all right”), “how was it to other handshakes you’ve had?”, “what’s the secret to a great handshake?” (people might talk about firmness, or the context – eg who’s doing the handshake and when), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 4 and 7), Then explain that you would like them to shake hands again …, “This time I’d like you to shake hands again but I’d like you negotiate it.”, “Do you want to shake hands with left or right hand?” [you might want to ask if there are any left handed people in the room and which hand they shake with], “Do you want to go up and down or side to side?”, “How firm do you want it to be? Teaching Teens about Consent. This is to test whether we can have a really good mutually enjoyable handshake with someone that we have never shaken hands with before. Desiree notices that Naomi is drinking a lot and starting to slur her words. No parent wants their child to grow up to be a victim or a perpetrator, which means teaching about consent early is crucial. First of all I’d like everyone to shake hands, if you want to.”, Give enough time for as many people to shake hands with as many people as they like. Are there times when you feel like you can’t say no to a handshake? It is the responsibility of the person initiating the sexual activity to get this permission.” How do we teach our children about consent? www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance The video and two accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) can be used in a classroom setting, with a small group of tweens/teens, or one-on-one with an adult who can lead an informed discussion. At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – the right to not be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless they give that person clear permission. The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 By Joanna Schroeder , Julie Gillis, Jamie Utt and Alyssa Royse A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. What makes asking for the sex you want (or don’t want) more difficult? This will reduce the time taken to 5 minutes. Think about the words used to describe different people who have sex – what difference would that make? It may get a bit uncomfortable to talk about these things in the context of young children, but it is important to break through that stigma so we can address these issues as they are developing so they don’t become larger later on in life. 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